Bill Clinton gave Tiger Woods a phone call of encouragement

HOLLYWOOD ­— God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Iraqis voted by the millions in Iraq’s parliamentary
elections Sunday, ignoring bomb and grenade attacks. It could have
been worse. Thousands of lives were saved after both Sunnis and
Shiites agreed not to make health care reform an election issue.

Golf World said Bill Clinton gave Tiger Woods a phone call
of encouragement on Friday. The former president certainly has
some experience in this to share with him. The best guess is that
forty-two days of rehab were just undone by one phone call.

The House Commerce Committee called for Toyota to come clean
over its problems with its fuel injection and sticky accelerators.
It’s not a problem everywhere. In California the Toyotas go so
fast they are starting to cut into Porsche’s market share.

Harrah’s Casino estimated Friday that Americans will bet
sixty billion dollars on the NCAA tournament. It includes legal
bets in sports books and illegal office betting pools nationwide.
The idea to teach children there is more to life than poker.

Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol Palin agreed to appear on the
Secret Life of an American Teenager on the ABC Family Network this
year. She’s going to talk about the cost of being a single mother. It cost
her her senior year in high school, it cost John McCain the election, and
now it’s going to cost the nation our free-market system.

The House Ethics Committee launched an investigation into
Democratic Congressman Eric Massa, who resigned over it Monday.
They couldn’t give him a pass on ethics. With a name like Massa he
would never be admitted into the Congressional Black Caucus.

General Motors announced last week they are closing the
Hummer division. There is a mad scramble for Hummer’s customer
list. The male enhancement product company that gets that mailing
list will rule the market for the next twenty years.

Indonesia suffered the latest earthquake Friday, following
quakes in Haiti and Chile and Taiwan. We know who’s next. Every
house on the route of next week’s L.A. Marathon has been advised
to stock up on bottled water and watch the race from inside a doorway.
U.S. Rep. Eric Massa said Democrats ran him out of Congress
because he is opposed to health care reform. He wanted to stay. He
was accused of making sexual advances on a male staffer but it
just wasn’t enough to save his career in the Democratic Party.